Turn the Apple Around: Share the Wisdom, Not Just the Wealth

We naturally present the polished side. The real lessons often live on the other side of the apple.

Have you noticed that almost everything we put out for the world to see is perfectly presented from our good side?

We post filtered photos on social media that hide our gray hair and wrinkles. We pose in the family picture, conveniently tucked behind the kids to hide our midsections. We highlight the promotions, the second home, the family vacation to Italy, or Jackson’s 40-yard touchdown pass at Homecoming. Everything sparkles!

It’s like holding a Honeycrisp apple and positioning it perfectly for the camera so the bruise on the backside stays hidden.

We do it in conversation, too. We talk about what’s comfortable, what we know, and where we feel like experts. After all, why would we volunteer our missteps?

What Our Kids Actually See

All of this is fine if we’re running for public office. But when it comes to leaving a meaningful financial legacy for our kids, turning the apple to its good side does them a huge disservice.

Our kids see the full, comfortable home in the Colonies, the effortless tap of a credit card, decorations for every holiday, Mom’s diamond ring, and Dad’s custom golf clubs loaded up every Saturday morning. They see every want and need taken care of.

We need to share the hurts, the hang-ups, and the financial failures. Why? Because human beings don’t learn from perfection; we learn from mistakes.

The Denver House & The Maui Jims

Looking back, I wish I had turned that apple around sooner with my boys, to share with them the early missteps that forged me, challenged me, and taught me how money actually works.

For instance, we were total boneheads and completely overextended ourselves when we bought our first home in Denver! We wanted out of apartment living so badly that we signed an adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM). Well, you guessed it! Three years in that rate adjusted and our mortgage payment skyrocketed! It put us in a situation where Justin had to take a second job working late nights at a liquor store just to keep us afloat. Yeah… that was a tough one.

Or I wish I’d told them about the time I impulsively bought a pair of high-end Maui Jim sunglasses—only to realize three days later that they kept sliding off my face. I was so frustrated with myself. Why did I spend all that money just to regret it 72 hours later? Argh!

Normalizing the Stumbles

It’s exactly these kinds of stories that coach and educate our children about money.

When we share our wisdom now, two powerful things happen:

1. They gain practical perspective that keeps them from making the exact same mistakes.
2. When they do make mistakes of their own (and it’s not if, it’s when), they’ll know their financial life isn’t over. They can climb out of the hole. They can work hard and recover—because Mom and Dad did.

The most useful financial education often happens at the kitchen table, not in a formal setting.

So the next time you reflect on your family’s financial legacy, remember to pass down the wisdom alongside the wealth. Share how you actually got to where you are today: the good, the bad, and the bruised side of the apple!

What was your biggest early financial “oops”—and have you ever shared it with your kids or grandkids? Let’s talk about it in the comments!